


Glup Shitto Awakens

by cryptyd



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, i am gay and stupid. here you go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptyd/pseuds/cryptyd
Summary: Glup Shitto is a simple space cop on the beat. She crosses paths with Darth Crumbo, the seductive Duchess of Spice, and suddenly her mission becomes a lot more complicated.Yes they are just jokes but arent we all??? i promise someone says "Make me". Hearts will pound. Breaths will be HOT. The lipgloss WILL be poppin.
Relationships: Glup Shitto/Darth Crumbo
Kudos: 3





	Glup Shitto Awakens

**Author's Note:**

> names from:  
> https://twitter.com/katemaclel/status/1350923294002851843  
> https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/969/219/303.jpg

Glup Shitto unholstered her phaser, holding it at the ready. She was crouched behind a shipping container of spice, listening for her cue. _Five... four... three... two-_

“There you are!” A high voice crooned, sickly sweet, from the cargo bay up ahead. “Where have you darling traders been? I’ve been waiting all evening for this delivery, you know. My time is _very_ important to me.”

Glup darted a glance out of her hiding spot. Two goons were hauling boxes over into a parked ship. The vessel was more familiar to Glup than she'd like. Leaning against the pink and silver hull was a certain troublesome dame known as Darth Crumbo, the Duchess of Spice. No doubt a name she invented herself, Glup groused. There was no honor in a name you didn’t earn. Glup had earned her rank in the Coruscanian barracks, working her gills off ever since she was just a orphaned nobody named Glup. The Duchess probably isn't even a "sith" like she claimed, Glup thought, and besides she doubted any of that religious stuff was real. It seems to Glup like another of the Duchess's many false affectations.

She silently chuckled to herself, remembering the time she caught Crumbo using a fake ID to cross into Coruscant's cargo sector. "Shup Glitto" happened to have messed with the wrong security checkpoint. At least today Glup had the element of surprise. Crumbo wasn't slipping out of her grasp this time.

Glup vaulted over the spice container and began firing into the cargo bay, her boots pounding heavily against the metal floor. As predicted, the cowardly goons had remained inside Crumbo's vessel at the first sign of trouble, leaving the Duchess unattended.

Instead of drawing a weapon or even surrendering, Crumbo cackled. "Oh, Glup," she wheezed, fanning her face with a tentacle, "You truly know how to make an entrance. Who knew Captain Fussygills was hiding such a flair for the dramatic?"

Glup advanced, training her weapon on the Duchess. "I don't want to hurt you-"

"Flattery!" she interrupted. Glup growled.

"I _shouldn't_ hurt you." The paperwork alone would be hell, Glup mused, and might even be worse than listening to Crumbo's chatter. "I'm not even after you. I'm after whoever you're working for. Who do you answer to?"

"Oh honey, I answer to Crumbo, Duchess, and gorgeous. And I even answer after midnight," the Duchess purred. She raised a wicked eyebrow when she saw a Glup's pink face blush indigo. "Or was that not what you meant? You'll have to be more specific next time, my dear- oof"

Glup had holstered her gun and crossed the few paces between them, pushing Crumbo against the hull of her ship.

"Who. Do. You. Work for." Glup said, teeth gritted.

The Duchess pursed her lips, humming. Glup was close enough to notice the iridescent sheen of her lipgloss. She swallowed and tried to ignore the rising heat in her face as she pressed her forearm against Crumbo's neck, applying just enough pressure to let her breathe. Barely.

"Answer me!" Glup demanded. "I don't like repeating myself. And here I thought you liked hearing the sound of your own voice."

A slow, dangerous smile crept across Crumbo's face. "Now we're-" a short gasp as Glup pushed closer, "talking. Didn't think you were the type to tango. You want me to talk?"The Duchess leaned closer. "Make me."

In one swift move, she brought an arm up and wrenched Glup's hand off her shoulder while sending a swift kick to Glup's knee. Glup stepped back in pain and alarm, but quickly reverted back to a combat stance.

“You’re on.” Glup ran forward, arms ready to grapple. Crumbo sidestepped with laugh.

“Oh, did I make you mad, darling? Here, let me help-” she sneered, roundhouse kicking at Glup’s head. Glup caught her foot and twisted the ankle, sending the Duchess to the ground. Her head slammed against the cold metal, dazing her long enough for Glup to pull out two pairs of cuffs- one which she clicked around Crumbo’s legs.

Crumbo opened her eyes at the sound of cuffs and began struggling- to no avail. Glup had settled her knees around Crumbo’s waist, keeping her pinned as she reached for her arms. She pinned Crumbo’s flailing arms to the floor as well, Glup’s face hovering just inches from her own.

She could feel Crumbo's hot breath as she used her considerable strength to pin both arms with one hand, using the other to affix the cuffs.

“Now tell me or I’ll have to take you in. Who are you running spice for?”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Spice? Oh sweetheart. You really are just a dumb pair of biceps.”

Then Crumbo’s eyes unfocused. Glup felt her body get tossed across the room, and heard the two cuffs clank onto the ground, broken.

Still somehow stuck to the ground, Glup watched helplessly as the Duchess ran back to her ship, taking off quickly. She could feel something inside her drop, as if a chasm was swallowing her soul.

As soon as the ship left the cargo bay, Glup felt control seep back into her limbs.

She huffed a sigh.

On the drive back to base, Glup realized with a shock her critical error in that fight. She had forgotten to user her phaser! She had abandoned it so early in the ambush. Unbidden, flashes from their fight entered her mind- Crumbo’s haughty lean, her carefully applied lipgloss, her pulse jumping under her skin when she was pressed against the wall. The odd way her expression has stilled when she snapped the cuffs.

The strange feeling in Glup’s core returned. Perhaps the sith had used her powers to bewitch- compel, to compel her. Unwillingly. To notice all these useless details and forget her own phaser.

Glup nodded to herself. Surely that must’ve been it.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if u want a chapter 2. I'll try to make them kiss


End file.
